A break

So this break off of school is already off to a great start. Chilled with my boy Kev yesterday had a great time and found maad cool shiz in his room! Then got home and enjoyed Air bud even though the idea behind these movies is stupid I still had a good time watching it with my lil bro and cuz. Then today woke up and just chilled with the momma and broski then went to mass and now watching futbol with my poppa haha it's pretty good.

Also today I discovered I am indeed a trophy whore when it comes to my PS3 haha I find myself constantly in quest to get the trophies for my games haha yes I am that much of a loser but whateva whateva I don't care haha it's who I am and had a great part in my upbringing.

So yeah this break is going swell so far haha I think the rest were to follow this weekend I would be satisfied.

State of affairs

So I just woke up at 5:38 AM to realize that I fell asleep writing my paper - _ -

I don't want to go to class today there is still so much on my mind man mostly right now it's my stomach which is making some stupid ass noises right now it's ridiculous. Second is the situation with Kev man I just want him to be better and lead an awesome life man we've got so much to live for and that dude is like another brother to me.

Another thing that's on my mind is whether or not she's worth breaking the rules for.. like I like her and it's like I think I'm gonna have to break my rules and throw away these restrictions I put on myself karma might bite me later on but honestly I don't care I'm gonna chase it and see where it takes me.

Other than that I had some random thoughts yesterday in sociology class. I was thinking to myself is our education system really educating or spreading propaganda of the country my ideal education system doesn't have a set language but can teach all different languages, but that will never happen cause it's just not practical so this leads me to believe that we can't really be free of the hold instituitons have on our freedom which leads me to another thing I read in Mark Twains book A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court I can't find the exact quote but it had something like we must be a supporter of the country and not the institutions that rule it. This is ideal for me which is why I believe we should get rid of the party system and the limititations on our education.

So yeah idk how that became a little social discourse but honestly that's how my mind works it jumps around a lot haha I don't think I'm going to go to class today honeslty I think I'm just going to hold myself up in the library reading/writing my thoughts or online looking up stuff I honestly don't know but I'm bored with the education system already haha I guess maybe St. John's just isn't the college for me I think I'm going to transfer out soon.

Anyways wish me luck with the girls situation and stuff and just till later I guess.. this probably won't be my last post of the day though.

Tidal Wave

So man how much emotion is going through me at this time it's like so much it's like a tidal wave.

First of all there was another earthquake this week this time in Chile an 8.8 that's amazing. Over 700 people have been reported dead and it's just like so crazy it's like the earth is falling apart right in front of us.

Then my best friend is going through some dark times and we are helping him out, but I did something that could have turned out real bad and I feel so terrible because it was due to my anger getting the best of me and my anger is something that really scares me sometimes it blinds me and I'm afraid I will hurt someone in my state of anger and I came dangerously close to it.

Now it's a problematic time in my life there are so many things going on that I don't tell anyone and just stick it out and help other people with there problems and it just helps to overwhelm me.

But there is some light shining through this darkness... I got a car I've got God of War pre-ordered haha and I've got a job lined up. So that will help clear some of the troubles even for brief moments.

Talked to my boy the other day and we've gotten more understanding through our convo and like idk I'll get past this and maybe I'll look back and realize that the tidal wave I thought I was facing ends up being a three foot tall one.

Guilt

I just suddenly feel guitly, because I want a friendship back with someone really badly, but haven't made the time to do it. Like I was reminiscing on old times with this person and how great they were but now we don't see each other anymore and it's my fault because she has reached out to me and invited me out I just haven't made the effort to go out and meet her. Meli if you ever read this I'm sorry and hopefully if you're reading this in some time in the future I would have been back on my game and chilling with you like the good ol days and if not and we still don't chill don't give up on me I wanna try.

No title

Don't know what to name this post but ya.

We have entered into 2010!

New decade man it's crazy I've seen two decades already in my life.

But anyways a lot has happened since the last time I posted. The holidays, new year, the earthquake in Haiti. The holidays were fun although it wasn't the family togetherness I would have hoped for it was still a good time with the immediate fams. New Year was fun with the friends. And I was heartbroken watching the people of Haiti after the effects of the earthquake last week.

Ha speaking of friends it seems to me that their has been a lot of talking behind people's backs going around. And some other people are being picked on among our friends and that has been something that has really begun to bug me. And there is also someone who I feel has betrayed my good faith in them and done something that warrants me forfeiting my support for them. But all in all I still have the same band of brothers and sister among my friends. I think this will eventually come to a boil and someones feelings are going to be hurt so sooner or later I'm gonna have to suggest that we get together and have a real venting about how some of us feel.

Haiti is something that's just like wow. I'ts one of those moments in my life where I look back and just get everything in perspective. I see how lucky I am and my responsibility to those less fortunate than I. It's crazy you always think that it can never get worse off, but then there's a point where it does. And then all that's left is to recover and continue. I pray for the people of Haiti so that they can come together and forge onward.

Well a lot of good things are happening in my life. My mom is on the verge of getting a new car and passing on her old one unto me. I feel more confident in my academic abilities after one semester under my belt. And once again I am shown how fortunate I am compared to learn of other's mistakes instead of living them myself.

Ah and one issue that has stood out to me lately and I've been pondering over it the past couple of weeks. Lately there have been a few groups or pages on facebook saying that if you want to live in America then you have to learn "our" language English. Well although the U.S. doesn't have an official language I do see the point in that if we do not have a common general language then it cannot work. So therefore it is best to learn the language for working towards a common goal in our society. I do agree with that point however, I totally disagree with the way these groups are bashing those who do not speak English. Bashing and mudslinging are never a good means of working toward your goal so therefore I agree with the people who say that we must work with these people to learn the language, because it is hard to learn something when you are past a certain age and when you had poor education to begin with. That is one obstacle another in my opinion is the fact that we make fun of the way that people speak the language after they have learned it. It's like you wanted me to speak YOUR language as we have put it and then you make fun of me. How would you feel if that's how people looked at your situation you can't win because if you don't learn it they bash you then you do learn it and they still bash you for your accent. People need to stop.

Just blowing some steam.

Laser Targeted Guidance

So I wasn't gonna post today, but Helen went and saw my posts and reminded me that I haven't posted in a while. So that confusion of the last post is still definitely bugging me it's weird, I definitely feel like I am going to have to do it to just get it off my chest soon.

But with that said now I'm going through something else, cause the other day I was thinking about Afghanistan and I thought damn we've got it made we go on with our lives as if we aren't at war yet people in Iraq and Afghanistan are experiencing the war every day of their lives right now. So a thought passed through my mind. I have not told anyone that this has gone through my mind. Bear with me for a sec don't go crazy, but thoughts of joining the armed forces has passed through my mind. My rationale for this is not for some patriotism that's a minor reason I don't really want to fight for people who forget that people are suffering over in other places I really want to do for the people of these areas where they have family dying, I want to do my best to help them in this most dire time of need. But idk this is just a confusing and tough time in my life and I'm not really sure about anything.

I went on Emmaus last week and that really helped reconnect myself with God. It was definitely the greatest of all my Emmaus retreats and it brought me more humility and insight into how God works. I love all of my brothers and sisters in God and I am truly happy that I have acknowledged that God is working in my life, so I'm going to ask him for guidance through this confusing time in my life.